The Henfield End to End
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The Henfield End to End is a tale that must be told,
Of three jolly bicycle men who braved the hot and cold.
They braved all manner of obstacles, 'nowt were too tough for them,
They finished the planned exercise hard and toughened men.
This exercise in torture was invented one fine day.
Keith hap'd mention idea to Richard at Sunday School play.
Rich was fired with this great idea to cycle from south to Northern tip
All the way from that land's end to the pointy bit at top.
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The third man of the party joined at slightly later date.
Martin always wanted t'try it but thought he were too late.
Nay said Keith and Rich, come and join the fray
Besides, if we have to buy things the three of us can pay!
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Planning ride was all great fun but where O where to start,
Should it be George, t' Plough or perhaps p'haps White Hart?
Wednesday late would have to do so Rich could ring his bells,
So the three of them set to work to find a route through fells.
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It soon became clear to three that without maps you wouldn't get far
So Martin took staples out from atlas in his car.
A list of cycle vendors seemed like a grand idea
So Internet supplied a list of merchants far and near.
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The next big thing that was addressed was where they were to stay.
Would B&B fit the bill or a tent with 'nowt to pay?
Now as all three were getting on, their comforts they did like
So not one was up for camping after 60 miles by bike.
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Then Rich he had a problem, time from work they would not give
So he'd be up to 100 miles a day with which the others could not live.
So the tortoise and the hare was born, who'd win nobody would guess
With Keith and Matin taking 18 days and Richard 'sommat less.
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The tortoise party did arrive at South West corner bit,
The training had been done and the pair were feeling fit.
But a party o keen cyclist showed 'em way to go
With support van, no luggage and aerodynamics to aid their flow.
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Undeterred the pair set off in showers and hazy sun.
Before long they were panting hard and wondering what they'd done.
They kept themselves t'task and worked so very hard
Supplies were bought each day of dripping bread and lard.
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The Severn Bridge it did appear just as 4th day were done
A mighty river they beheld all bathed in setting sun.
They spent the night in Chepstow just so they could say
" In Wales we spent some brass, but didn't spend a day"
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350 miles the clock had turned since pair of them began
Till just 10 miles from that Chepstow place Keith's back tyre it went bang.
This sad event would floor most men but not our gallant two
A tyre was taxied from cycle shop and fixed without much ado.
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Just at that time Rich began to cycle hard and fast.
His one desire to catch the pair and if he could get past.
All on his own he did toil and never once did walk,
Unlike Keith & Martin who at them steep hills did baulk.
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Time went on for the tortoise pair and their mileage did improve
Rich spoke to them by mobile phone and were shocked at how they'd moved.
England turned to Scotland and sun shone all day long.
An improvement in t' weather oft bought Mart to song.
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The final lap were coming up as Inverness were passed.
At that point hare took lead and tortoise it took last.
The two of them they did not meet as different routes they trod
Hare took all them major roads whilst others small lanes did plod.
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29 hours was difference twixt teams arrival times
John O'Groats was dull and dank, a place where sun n'er shines.
But bright enough it was for us after 1000 miles on road.
We tried to act all nonchulent and pretend pain n'er showed.
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The final chapter of this tale of Henfield End to End
Lies with you our happy audience and the money that you spend.
Children's hospital in Brighton, it craves much needed brass.
So if you haven't sponsored us, it's not too late, just ask.
Keith Murphy©