The May Fly and the Cabinet
(With my sincere apologies to Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and The Carpenter)
Her vote was sliding like a ski,
Sliding with all its might:
She did her very best to make
Her ‘landslide’ not a fight –
And this was odd, because it was
Hers to call by right.
Debates avoided sulkily,
Because she thought The Sun
Had done the business to be fair.
After the day was done –
‘I think I May, have won’ she said,
‘May Not’said everyone.
Her claim was lame as lame could be,
Her plans were lie on lie.
You could not see a truth, because
Pigs flew across the sky:
(No planes were flying overhead –
There were no planes to fly.)
The May Fly and her Cabinet,
Never sharing the same hand;
They fought like cat and dog you see,
Over who should rule the land.
So DUP they drafted in,
And paid a million grand!
If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
‘Do you suppose,’ the Mayfly said,
‘That they could get it clear?’
‘I doubt it,’ said the Cabinet,
And shed a bitter tear.
‘O Voters come and walk with us!’
The May Fly did beseech.
‘A Brexit Walk, a Brexit Talk,
Along the briny beach:
Rich may come but not the poor,
We’ll need you lot to leech.’
The eldest voters, most said aye,
And sheep-like they were led:
The wisest voters looked at her,
But n’ere a word they said –
Forty eight per cent did choose,
To remain in EU bed.
So May Fly had her Brexit fans,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their CV’s quite complete –
And this was odd, because, we know,
May Fly faced defeat.
For other Leavers following them,
The tale was riches more;
And thick and fast they came to pass,
Over cliff edge to the floor –
All piled up by those Brexit knaves,
No scrambling to the shore.
The May Fly and the Cabinet,
Limped on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Leavers stood,
And waited in a row.
‘The time has come, the May Fly said,
To talk of many fings:
Of deals – and bills – and borders lax –
Of open skies – and wings –
And why the talks are in a knot –
And if pigears are the things.’
‘But wait a bit,’ the Leavers cried,
‘Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us feel flat!’
‘No Deal!’ said the Cabinet.
They thanked them much for that.
A loaf of bread,’ the May Fly said,
Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you’re ready, Leavers dear,
We can begin to feed.’
But not on us!’ the Leavers cried,
Turning a lighter blue.
After such devotion, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’
The night is fine,’ the May Fly said.
‘Cliff will provide the view.
It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’
The Cabinet said nothing but
‘Cut us another slice,
I wish you were wouldn’t cough so much —
I’ve had to ask you twice!’
‘It seems a shame,’ the May Fly said,
To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them O so sick!’
The Cabinet said nothing but
‘The butter’s spread too thick!’
I weep for you,’ the May Fly said:
I deeply sympathise.’
With sobs and tears she sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding her pocket-handkerchief
Before her streaming eyes.
‘O Leavers’, said the Cabinet,
‘We’ve had our little fun!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.
©Keith Murphy
