The May Fly and the Cabinet
(With my sincere apologies to Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and The Carpenter)
​
Her vote was sliding like a ski,
Sliding with all its might:
She did her very best to make
Her ‘landslide’ not a fight –
And this was odd, because it was
Hers to call by right.
​
Debates avoided sulkily,
Because she thought The Sun
Had done the business to be fair.
After the day was done –
‘I think I May, have won’ she said,
‘May Not’said everyone.
​
Her claim was lame as lame could be,
Her plans were lie on lie.
You could not see a truth, because
Pigs flew across the sky:
(No planes were flying overhead –
There were no planes to fly.)
​
The May Fly and her Cabinet,
Never sharing the same hand;
They fought like cat and dog you see,
Over who should rule the land.
So DUP they drafted in,
And paid a million grand!
​
If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
‘Do you suppose,’ the Mayfly said,
‘That they could get it clear?’
‘I doubt it,’ said the Cabinet,
And shed a bitter tear.
​
‘O Voters come and walk with us!’
The May Fly did beseech.
‘A Brexit Walk, a Brexit Talk,
Along the briny beach:
Rich may come but not the poor,
We’ll need you lot to leech.’
​
The eldest voters, most said aye,
And sheep-like they were led:
The wisest voters looked at her,
But n’ere a word they said –
Forty eight per cent did choose,
To remain in EU bed.
​
So May Fly had her Brexit fans,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their CV’s quite complete –
And this was odd, because, we know,
May Fly faced defeat.
​
For other Leavers following them,
The tale was riches more;
And thick and fast they came to pass,
Over cliff edge to the floor –
All piled up by those Brexit knaves,
No scrambling to the shore.
​
The May Fly and the Cabinet,
Limped on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Leavers stood,
And waited in a row.
​
‘The time has come, the May Fly said,
To talk of many fings:
Of deals – and bills – and borders lax –
Of open skies – and wings –
And why the talks are in a knot –
And if pigears are the things.’
​
‘But wait a bit,’ the Leavers cried,
‘Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us feel flat!’
‘No Deal!’ said the Cabinet.
They thanked them much for that.
​
A loaf of bread,’ the May Fly said,
Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you’re ready, Leavers dear,
We can begin to feed.’
​
But not on us!’ the Leavers cried,
Turning a lighter blue.
After such devotion, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’
The night is fine,’ the May Fly said.
‘Cliff will provide the view.
​
It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’
The Cabinet said nothing but
‘Cut us another slice,
I wish you were wouldn’t cough so much —
I’ve had to ask you twice!’
​
‘It seems a shame,’ the May Fly said,
To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them O so sick!’
The Cabinet said nothing but
‘The butter’s spread too thick!’
​
I weep for you,’ the May Fly said:
I deeply sympathise.’
With sobs and tears she sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding her pocket-handkerchief
Before her streaming eyes.
​
‘O Leavers’, said the Cabinet,
‘We’ve had our little fun!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.
©Keith Murphy
